If you’re married, or contemplating marriage, and you want to know the best ways to keep a married relationship strong, healthy, and happy, I have some ideas for you.
For one thing, as in many things these days, we all have a tendency of making things much harder than they really need to be. Most people are very kind, loving, and patient to their partner…when they first start dating. Unfortunately much of that seems to wear off over time. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why that happens?
I’m not completely sure but I know if we go into our relationships with open eyes and are aware of that potential, and fight against it happening, we have a better chance of not falling into that trap.
So many of the things that occur to us that have a negative impact on our lives and relationships tend to happen by default. They just happen and we’re not paying attention. If we just paid attention and nipped these negative traits in the bud before they really got a foot hold in our relationship we could probably save it from happening in the first place.
Another extremely important thing to remember is to always have fun with your spouse. A good friend of mine, who is now divorced, was married to a man who loved to play. He played many sports such as softball, golf, bowling, etc. The problem was he never wanted to do any of those fun activities with his wife. He only wanted to do them with his friends. Why? The wife told me that after going to counseling the counselor suggested that he didn’t want to do the activities with her because he was very insecure and he was afraid she might beat him, or at least be competitive, which he couldn’t handle.
The end result was that her and her husband didn’t have a strong loving bond. He didn’t spend fun times with her only the mundane daily task times. That eventually led to the dissolution of their marriage.
If you want to keep your relationship strong it’s very important that the two of you share more than the mundane, daily household chores. You need to share laughs, fun loving easy going times together too. If you’re the ultra competitive type than you may want to stay away from playing games together but that still leaves a lot you can do, you can go to movies, concerts, etc.
Another potential problem in your marriage can come from having children. Now don’t get me wrong, children are a blessing. But if you enter into parenthood with some fairy tale image of what it will be like you could be in trouble. It’s very important for you and your partner to discuss, honestly, your outlook on raising children…before you have them.
If the two of you aren’t on the same page, and many couples aren’t, than it will create a lot of stress in your relationship. The best way to overcome that is to make sure even before you have children that the two of you can talk over any problem and reach a compromise. That skill will serve you well when you become parents.
No couple is going to agree on everything but if you and your partner have developed good communication skills prior to having children and are able to talk things out and come to some middle ground, that will go a long way in preventing a lot of squabbles when you become parents.
It’s really not that hard to have a wonderfully fulfilling married relationship just remember that your partner is a trusted friend and talk to them, not at them…and have some fun every now and then!
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